When we read last week’s CT scan results on my health portal, we knew better what to expect yesterday when we saw our NP.   And, then Dr. Murphy walked into the exam room with the NP and we knew the news was not going to be good.

Long story short:  the Erbitux is not working.   This is the third thing we’ve tried and it is not shrinking the tumors in my lymph system.  Dr. Murphy said that a clinical trial was several weeks away and that a clinical trial promises nothing.  If I should decide to sign up, I would be number 20 on a list of people waiting for a trial and there’s no certainty that I will get one because I may not qualify.

A second option is to try the next chemo therapy on the list of chemo therapy drugs.   The chances of its working are even smaller than Erbitux and it has side effects like any other treatment.   Also, it would continue weakening the body as have the first two treatments.   It would be a very long shot.

The third option is to stop all treatments.   I am tired, weak and worn out.  Whether I take chemo, a trial drug or do nothing I will continue to digress.  The fight has not been a pleasant one for obvious reasons.  But the most obvious thing is that I am fighting a fight that I cannot win.   And, the Lord seems to be telling me that it’s time to come home.

We talked with my mother and our three children.  There is a consensus, that the final decision is mine.  I have pretty much decided to stop all treatments immediately.   I will meet again with Dr. Murphy on April 18 to give her my final decision.

I would be greatly remiss if I didn’t say something to you and about you:  you have been my prayer warriors for over six years.   You have prayed faithfully and in most cases, you have prayed faithfully daily for my healing.  Thank you so much.   You have not prayed in vain because you know God can always (and many times) say, “No,” or “Yes” or “Wait” or “I’ve got something better.”   The Lord always ALWAYS has something better.

All the things that a husband, father, grandfather and Bible teacher wants to do have been put aside.  But nothing can replace seeing the face of my Lord; that will be priceless and eternal.

How much time do I have?   Two months?   Maybe more.  We are speaking in terms of months not years.  

For what may you pray?   Personally, I think you should continue to pray for a miracle.   But also include Debbie, Brad, Michelle and Bethy and their spouses and children in your prayers.   They will be fine.   But they do need your prayers for some time to come.   Pray for me also:  I am having breathing problem which will worsen; I also have a bad cough.  Both of these are related to the cancer in the lymph gland behind my lungs.   Hospice and I will meet on April 18.   I have referred dozens of people to Hospice over the years and now it’s my turn.   Hospice will not do much at first, but as I slip away, they will provide whatever I need.

I love you and appreciate you all so very much.

Feel free to write, call, text, email, send cards or visit.   Just let us know you’re coming if you decide to visit.   We’d love that.

Blessings to all.